What is love in marriage?

In Rescued by the Cross by Ken Freeman, he says that the main issues in marriage are problems in communication, sex, or money. AND if there is a problem in one, it will flow over and affect the other two. I ask "what is love?" not because love will always fix a relationship (everyone sing with me..."all we need is love, love, love"). I as "what is love?" because so many people want to define love by their standards. The problem with that is the world's standards constantly change with the wind.
So let's look at it from God's viewpoint. 1 Corinthians 13 is the 1st place many people will go to see love... Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn't want what it doesn't have. Love doesn't strut, Doesn't have a swelled head, Doesn't force itself on others, Isn't always "me first," Doesn't fly off the handle, Doesn't keep score of the sins of others, Doesn't revel when others grovel, Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, Trusts God always, Always looks for the best, Never looks back, But keeps going to the end. (The Message)
I remember "Everybody Loves Raymond where Raymond recorded everything his wife said that he didn't agree with. Then when everything went wrong he played it back to her to make a point. He was right. The problem was he didn't need to be right. Somestime you need to be quiet. Love Isn't always "me first" and doesn't keep score of sins of others. Have you ever been around someone who remembers when you failed? You ask them to do something, they don't do it exactly how you wanted, and you make sure and tell them how they failed you.
Love Always looks for the best, never looks back, and keeps going to the end. If you always look for the best in the person you love, you will not look for their faults. Their gifts will rise to the top. Brandy has a strong gift of discernment. She can look at other people thru God's eyeglasses it seems at times and knows what's in their hearts. Love never looks back. In other words, you don't keep bringing up things the other person has done in the past. Love keeps going until the end. If you have done everything before this, then you will keep going until the end. Love has no temporary option as long as you feel like it. Love is for eternity.
At the end of Genesis 2, God made Eve...the beauty. Therefore a man leaves his mother and father and embraces his wife. They become one flesh. There is no "other person". They are one. Therefore, decisions are made together. Life is lived together. Their desire is to always be together.
Have you ever heard the phrase "Don't go to sleep angry"? Read Provers 15:17 "Better a breadcrust shared in love than a slab of prime rib served in hate". Wow what a statement. If you are down to nothing in your life and the only thing you have to eat is simple breadcrumbs, you should share that in love.
Read the whole book of Song of Solomon. This is a love story between Solomon (the wisest person in the OT) and his new bride. It's a very detailed sexy letter. Sex is ok to say. It doesn't hurt. I promise. Solomon says he will make love to his wife until the day breaks and the shadows flee...that's all night long.

The Greek language has 3 words for love. eros, philia, and agape. Agape is active, determined, and a gracious interest in anothers true welfare, not deterred even by hatred, not limited by results (what do I get out of this), does not retaliate, seeks no reward, and is not censorious. It is based on the nature of God. Philia based love is brotherly love. Yeah Philadelphia. It is about warm affection or being a friend. Eros is the hot passionate devotion. This includes the romatic or physical type love. Agape is what we find in 1 Corinthians. It is the same love from God to his people. Agape is the "foundation for all committed relationships, in marriage, friendship, church, and family. Agape is the reason Jesus laid down his life for our sins.

So what do you take away from all this? How does this affect you? Well....do you have the kind of love you should for your spouse? Is the foundation there? Your relationship is based on the rock of Jesus and the love he has shown to us. Your life together is not a short term project to see how it goes. Marriage has a foundation of agape love with the house built on top of it. I said before that problems in marriage are on communication, sex, or money. Eros is the passionate sex and that can be a problem. If you communication does not have that love foundation, it will be the problem. And if you have a love of money (or problem with money), that will be your problem. Who you love is who you will focus on. Your spouse is your focus and your devotion. Love him or her.