It's interesting how fast I got a comment on this post...and anonymous. The comment was right on and I loved it. This person without knowing me (I assume) and without knowing much about me made a judgement. I thought it would good to respond in a new post instead of just in the comments section for this one. Here is the comment he/she left:
I stumbled on your blog through Google. I was searching for stories from people about their call to ministry and your blog entry from 2007 came up. Very interesting and uplifting. After I read that, I clicked the Home link to read your most current entry and found this. Wow! I read some more entries looking for clues to explain what may have happned to justify such a bitter and spiteful entry, and the only thing I could find was an entry where you said something to this effect, "...at Sardis, I was the preacher I always wanted." Perhaps you should've tried to be the preacher Sardis needed instead. Sad.
Well....1st bitter and spiteful are pretty harsh words. Hard truth would have been better. If I describe you as a middle age woman with long hair and brown eyes I would be telling the truth. If I described you as a pew warmer that jumps in when she finds time and one day said "I think I can preach a good sermon too"...maybe that's truth also. I don't think I know you. It's just an illustration.
Many of my blog entries are thoughts I want to put down, maybe something another person will glean some insight into, maybe something they have no idea about but helps me to put it down. You read a few sermons and then some of my postings after leaving Sardis. Unfortunately it's not everything. However, just maybe it's a good picture. One thing about my blog entries...many of them are written as thoughts come to me. Sometimes I flesh them out and sometimes I don't.
I was the pastor at Sardis I always wanted. One who followed God instead of pandering to man. One who preached the Word instead of watered it down. One who sought the approval of God in everything I did.
And the most interesting thing....I was the pastor Sardis needed. That's the great thing about God. He worked it out perfectly. For 10 years this church had a pastor that just came to preach and leave. Then they got a good student pastor for 3 years that didn't push too hard but showed the congregation they had to work in the church also. Then they got me. I was the change/transistion pastor (if you accept a call to ministry you will read about him). I showed the church there is more than Sunday morning worship. And I stretched them...a lot. The pastor before me gave his entire salary back to the church because he had a pension from another career. I couldn't do that for sure. Neither could anyone coming after me.
Probably the last thing to tell you. Out of 40-50 people in worship on Sunday morning, it was half a dozen that were my antagonists. You have to read posts like mine to know what to expect. Also, read Antagonist in The Church. When you get behind the scenes, you see what really happens.
Oh...BTW...yes I was hurt. It took a year to get over it. There are still times my blood pressure goes up. However, since leaving I've been in two great churches. The year at Sardis was the best year and worst year I have had. My call hasn't changed. But the way I see my realtionship to God and to his church has evolved into something greater. I look forward to 2009 and the wonderful experiences it will bring in the Kingdom.
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