What a weekend

My niece got married on Saturday night. Dad (who has been "out of the family" for a while now) has a relationship with Heather. It's good to see. But then Heather has dumped her mom and sister and gone off on her own. That's sad. Eventually the rift will heal. But it's not going to happen over night and it won't happen because of one wedding. It will happen though. Dad and I are good friends now. We forgot to take the wedding gift for Heather and Patrick. That's ok. I'm thinking of including a list of important things an old married couple has learned to pass on to the new married couple.
1. You don't have to be right every time, even if you are. A friend once said "is this the hill you want to die on". Sometimes just letting it go is the best thing overall.
2. Get away from each other once a month. One person needs to leave for the weekend...go to your mom's, to see a friend across state, to Uncle Sean's house. But get away from each other. The time away will refresh your marriage and you will see how much you missed them when you get back.
3. Money is the biggest thing you will fight over...whether you have any or not. Combine all your $$ in one acct (don't have separate accts). Don't have one person responsible for the bills every month. Do them together, or at least look at them together when the other is writing them out.
4. Move out of the town your parents live in. This is true unless BOTH of you have the best relationship with whatever parent lives in town. Mom and dad only want the best for their child, and they will ALWAYS pick their child over the spouse. You may have though that "Everybody Loves Raymond" was funny...it was very true.
5. Don't get in the family bickering. Whatever mom thinks of dad or dad things of uncle Joe, ignore it. Make your own relationships.
6. This also goes for in-laws bickering. What you tell your mom about your spouse and spouse's family is all she knows. If you tell her that "my wife's mom send a nasty email to us", but you don't tell her about the phone call the next day to apologize and make everything better, mom will always hate the other family. Plus there is always a contest about which family is better. It get's worse wen you have kids.
7. Live your own life. Your family comes first now. You do what's best for them. That can be anything including moving across the country or around the world.
8. Focus on God in your marriage. Like my auto-sig says "Pary clean, live righteous". It's hard to believe without really experiencing it, but when you look to God in your marriage, in making decisions, in just learning more about him, he will guide your life more than ever. It's a great thing. Sometimes it seems things are not going like they should, but if you stay focused on God, guidance you will have.

If you have others, post them.....