Let Me Help You Help Me part 2

I guess there is going to be a part 2.  I wasn't sure if it was going to happen or not.  This one will probably be shorter than the last one. 

"How are you doing?"  That question has become the very last one I want to hear.  think about it this way.  You are walking through the office and you see someone you have not seen in a few days or even since yesterday.  You ask politely "how are you doing?"  Do you really want them to tell you the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help them God? 

Of course not.  They start into a story that resembles the orange juice commercial.  The lady is sitting around the table with all the people that are going to slow her down or she is going to have problems with today.  In the end she is glad she had her OJ today.  No you are expecting "fine", "good", "better than I ought to be". We all are expecting that. 

Then why would you give me those sad eyes like you are having pity on me and ask "how are you doing" expecting me to tell you all about it?  Maybe you want the whole thing and you think it will help "me".  Let me stop you there.  It won't.  Probably (or maybe) you need it for yourself.  You started thinking about your life and death more.  If I can make it though then you can make it though.  Good for you.  Passing in the hall is not the place for that.  If you need counseling, we can have lunch. 

Probably the most annoying is when I say "fine" or "good" or "better than I ought to be" I get those "he's such a strong man holding it together like that" look.  That's a condescending look.  stop it. just stop it.

Here's how it will go down.  If I am close enough to you, I will tell you the truth about how it is.  That means you are a close friend, confidant, or we have another connection.  There are two guys in my church that lost there wives in the past year.  We have a connection we didn't have before.  My best friend and I have a connection.  A couple guys that I have become close to. 

Now that doesn't mean you and I cannot connect and get together and build that friendship.  You will see when things like this happen that previous friendships will fade away and new ones will emerge.  And I don't want you to avoid me like I have ebola.  If we were talking in the past, we can still talk after a funeral.

So let me tell you.  I am doing fine.  Good in fact.  So is my daughter Julia.  We are not curled up in a ball in the corner crying ourselves to sleep.  We laugh. We play.  We pick on each other.  It's just like any other day in my house.  We talk about Brandy.  We miss her.  When I say I know she is in a better place....I do.  We both want her back, but we both move forward.  We are not moving on.  Brandy helped us become who we are. 

How are you doing today.  Hopefully, "everyday is a holiday."

-Sean